We are witches, but we can also be very lazy. Shit happens and we’ve all been there. Whether you are low on energy, time, money or heck just plain ol’ lazy we really understand. If you have listened to the podcast, you know that my co-host, Praxie and I do not have the time for a lengthy ritual. I’m at work by 5am, ain’t nobody got time for that. But fret not my dear witch, we’ve got your back! Here are the hot tips and tricks for you to be the dopest lazy witch in all of us.
PROTECTION FOR THE LAZY WITCH
I wanted to start with some easy protection you can add to your home and go about your day. Of course smudging is always top of the list. Smudging actually kills 94% of airborne bacteria so clean that air friend! However, it’s not the ONLY quick option available. You can place a horseshoe over the door. I have seen regular metal horseshoe, in which case, please make sure you hammer that baby in. It is not good luck to fall down and wham someone in the head. I have also seen some handmade with and the like. So whatever horseshoe shaped item attracts your attention go for it. Now make sure the shoe is pointed up and feel free to do your own blessing for luck and safety over. See. Easy, peasy.
You can also tie a trio of three small bells to the entry door of your home. A quick spell like, “Guard our home bell on the door,
let evil spirits come no more,
Evil spells shall not be cast,
And good fortune shall ever last”
Also, you can draw a sigil under your doormat at the entry points of your home. Of course, salt and red brick dust do much of the same thing. I always try to throw in a quick blessing of some sort whenever I do anything like this. Naturally, we all have different ways of doing things so doing a chant is not your thing, no problem! Remember to tailor this to your personal practice.
If your lazy because well, money is a thing. Here are a few ways to bring some money your way. It’s important to remember that intention is more important than the tools used in the spell. We all know the frustration of working on a limited budget but you can help yourself with a little patience and ingenuity.
One of the quickest and easiest ways, in my opinion, is burning herbs or a candle. Green is the color here so if you have some cash you can leave on the altar. A dollar will do, or a green or white candle. A white candle is the “one fits all” of magic. You can grab some basil leaves and write the amount you are seeking right onto the leave. Then do a quick chant and burn it.
Another spell I found HERE is very quick and easy. Just grab a white tea light candle, any shiny coin, and something safe to place your candle on. Remove the candle from the holder and place it aside for a moment. Then, take the coin rub it in your hands and focus one what you need. Rent money, vacation, bills whatever it is then place the penny under the candle. Now you can place them back in the holder or on a fire safe plate. When the candle is lit just say “As you burn, my money will come. When you die, my money has arrived.” If it works keep the coin until you next spell or just keep it as your lucky coin. If it doesn’t work, give it away or spend it. Just don’t keep it.
AND ONE FOR LUCK
Luck sometimes is not on our side. And when it’s not, it’s frustrating and quite simply fucking sucks. But with a mere spell you can call out to lovely lady luck to bless you again. Or, if you just want to increase your odds of getting that job or closing that big account. A little good luck, couldn’t hurt. Now again, bay leaves friend! Grab a green candle (or sub for white) and write your name on one side and good luck below it. Then visualize and said all the best things for the day or whatever it is you seek to come out of the day. Then burn your leaf using the candles flame. Then blow out your candle releasing your intention to the universe.
That’s it! Even when I am at my laziest or I have failed to manage my time appropriately yet again, this is one I can squeeze in. We also have a banishing bad luck spell which you smudge your whole body and say a chant. Mine is “I banish pain, I banish sorrow, Gods and Goddesses bless my tomorrow.” This is a good one after a particularly harrowing day. I had another witch threaten to hex me, and I think may have. My check engine came on on a car I purchased a few months ago and I had a difficult day at work. You know all those annoyances. But, I protected myself and after a couple of days things seemed to correct themselves. My check engine light turned off and I’m kicking ass at work again.
A LAZY WITCH IS A WITCH
No matter how often you do or don’t do spells a witch is a witch. Whatever is going on your life, a witch has your back because a witch is a witch.
All in day’s work my witches!